When a man is in hot pursuit of a woman, he tends to be on his very best behavior. The intense courting usually lasts two or three weeks. During that time he goes to whatever lengths it takes to woo a lady ― dinner out, theater shows, flowers, and mushy text are all on the menu. Then things start to slow down as he settles in. In that slow down stage, things either shift toward a relationship or the guy just loses interest. It can be hard to know sometimes why he backs away or even disappears like a ghost. Here are the most common reasons he might poof into thin air.
You don’t have a life
You never want to be the girl that drops everything on a whim if a guy calls and wants to do something. If you sit around all day waiting for him to call, he will lose interest real fast. Guys like to see that you are passionate about life and that you can stand on your own two feet. They like to be challenged and to pursue you. No one likes to be suffocated by needy people, so don’t be that person who doesn’t have things you love outside of his company.
You forget to show a mysterious edge about yourself
The more active your life is, the more mystery you have to offer ― and who doesn’t like a good mystery to solve? Not showing your full hand is a good thing. Make sure he doesn’t know what you’re doing, where you are, or who you’re hanging out with at every moment. During those early stages, it’s much more appealing when you can keep a mysterious edge about yourself. (In fact, if he insists on knowing what you are doing 24 -7 from the starting gate, he might not be a keeper anyway!)
Chasing after him
When a man has caught his prize, why would he need to keep pursuing you? In those early stages, don’t start initiating those important dates. Men need a challenge. If you start calling, texting and inviting him out with all your friends, why would he need to take you to the movies, or wine and dine you? He doesn’t. Those playful first steps will be lost if you give too much too soon of yourself.
You’re too interested
It’s real simple… play a little hard to get. A chick that has options and a solid game plan for her life will be viewed as valuable and worth the price of admission. Don’t come off all Wal-Mart super-saver-coupon. Major turn-off! Don’t be available every time he calls. Don’t change your regular girls night out. Let him miss you.
Rewarding bad behavior
Let’s say he makes plans, then he blows you off or he shows up ridiculously late like your time isn’t valuable. This is not the time to kiss his ass and ask; “Did I do something wrong?” and then bake him cookies. NO! NO! NO! If they do something rude, mean or disrespectful, you should never reward bad behavior, only the good.
Putting up with BS
It’s okay to give men a time-out. When you stand up for yourself, he won’t keep pushing the boundaries to see what he can get away with. Right from the get-go, stand your ground by establishing a self-respect standard. Do not put up with BS or bad behavior, ever. If he’s got a problem with it, then he’s an immature boy, not a grown-ass man. Good riddance! The best way to handle this is to avoid him for a few days. Let him know
you have one foot out the door. He’ll get the message. If he’s a keeper, he will respect you. Period.
Sleeping with him too early
We all know men have sex on the brain. But, if you sleep with someone too soon, they will think differently about you. If you’re too easy, a lot of men take that as a bad sign. They question; if she’s this easy with me, how many other men has she been with? I know it’s a double standard, but sadly this is still the way men think in this day and age.
Finding out what type of man he is
If you want more out of this relationship, you need to find out if he’s a monogamous person. The best way to test for that is to keep it casual at first. You might even turn down a date here or there.. If he gets upset and then the next night he’s got a new girl on his arm, you know he only wants a female around ― any female. If he only wants you and is seriously interested, he’ll show it and make the effort.
When you insist on respect from him, he will give it. You can sail through the courting phase into a solid relationship when you play your cards right. Plus, you’ll be more confident that he’s the keeper you’ve been looking for!