How to Know When We’ve Been Dating “Bad-Boys” and “Players” for Too Long…

How to Know When We’ve Been Dating “Bad-Boys” and “Players” for Too Long...
How to Know When We’ve Been Dating “Bad-Boys” and “Players” for Too Long...

It can feel like unfamiliar territory when we finally meet a “Nice-Guy” since they don’t come around very often. If we have a hard time wrapping our minds around “Good-Guy” dating behavior, it could mean we’ve dated too many losers. If you fall into any one of these categories, it might be a sign we’ve been dating “Bad-Boys” or “Players” waaaay too long.

Kind gestures surprise us

If our “Good-Guy” sends a mid-day text for no reason, only to say: “Hey, just thinking about you. Hope you’re having a good day.” Whoa! If something like this feels like a sobering slap to the face, then we know we have allowed ourselves to fall into “Bad-Boyfriend” territory. It’s time to raise our standards.

Question their motives

“Bad-Boys” make a point NOT to spoil their women, it fits into their MO perfectly― but a “Good-Guy” knows how a lady should be treated. When our nice guy sends us flowers and we react with “does he expect more from me?” or worse is this a “parting-ways” gift before being dumped? If we find ourselves questioning everything, it’s a sign we’ve lowered our expectations so much; we can’t even recognize another person’s kindness as genuine. Super sad. Time to do some self-esteem repair.

Locking our bitchy selves behind bars

We’ve never had to curb our bad-girl facades because a “Player” deserves nothing better. Between their mind-games, no-shows, and cheating-escapades, it was normal to lash out. With a “Good-Guy” we must be kind, understanding, and supportive. This emotional change can temporarily pull the rug out from underneath us. We must reprogram our brains into holy-moly-he-really-likes-me, mode. If we flash our “Reality-TV” personalities on a good man, we know it will only drive them away, and that’s the last thing we want.

Doubting this is real

After so many rough relationships and painful breakups, we’ve become jaded. We convince ourselves this can’t be real, and those guys only exist in the movies. In the back of our minds, we believe all men are dogs, and soon the “Good-Guy” rouse will end. We question: Why me? What have I done to deserve him? This revelation can make us feel foolish; like we had “Doormat” stamped on our foreheads. Oooouch!

They change the game

We now feel fear. Never has a man made monogamy, marriage and living together so appealing. We worry about surrendering our hearts or letting down our guard because if this relationship fails, the pain would be soul-crushing. He’s changed the way we view ourselves by raising the bar. He’s opened our eyes to the good life and how we deserve to be treated. No longer can we go back to those meaningless relationships and dead-end hook-ups. Our dating life as we know it; is over.

“Good-Guys” might seem rare but they are out there. If you see yourself in a few of these examples, it’s time to say goodbye to those “Bad-Boys” and “Players” by adopting quality dating standards. It’s not easy leaving the single life behind, but when you meet the right guy, a “Good-Guy”, it will be soooo worth it.

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VIABeverley Miles