If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. Theodore Roosevelt
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. Albert Einstein
To be or not to be. That’s not really a question. Jean-Luc Godard
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W. C. Fields
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children. Bill Hicks
I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. Stephen Fry
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