What’s His Intent…

What Are His Intentions...
What Are His Intentions...

Is He a Nice Guy or Just a User?

When you’re in the early stages of dating, how do you know if it’s going in the right direction? You owe it to yourself to find out. No one wants to invest time into a guy who wants nothing more than a casual hookup. NO THANKS! If you are not into being USED, then it’s time to ask yourself a few questions.

Who’s in control?

If he’s the one who’s making all the plans, find out why! A good-guy will want to do things that you enjoy, too, because your happiness matters. If everything is always on his terms, I hate to break it to you, but you might be in a USER relationship.

Is he into me or am I just filling a need?

If your new guy asks you to do his laundry, walk his dog, pick up his dry cleaning, etc. you have to STOP! Helping out and doing things for one another is one thing, but if you’re always the helper, you should put on the brakes. Save those times where you go the extra mile for a committed relationship. During the early stages of any relationship, he should be wooing the hell out of you, not asking you to be his mommy. The coup de grâce . . . does he ask for money? If he does: run away like your heels are on fire.

Who texts more?

If you’re doing most of the texting; investigate that. He should be texting you all the time. Not just when he’s lonely― as if you’re only on his booty-call schedule. Pfft! No Thanks! You should be getting texts from him in the morning that say “Thinking about you,” “How are you?” “I miss you.” If you are not; kick his ass to the curb. PRONTO!

Does he listen to me?

A guy with good intentions will want to know you. He will ask questions about your family, friends, and what you love about your life. He will listen to you. He will let you make plans. He will want to meet your friends. He will give you room to breathe. Men who only want a one-sided relationship will do the opposite. He will not want to learn about you, let alone, meet your family or friends. It prevents you from putting too many eggs in his basket. The less he knows about you, the better. He doesn’t plan on investing much because he knows he will be moving on soon. See those red-flags and stop wasting your time on a dead-end relationship.

Is he too laid back with his life?

Do not confuse being laid back with easy going. When a man is too laid back, he acts that way with everything in his life. Laid back with his career, his finances, his buddies, and probably with his love life. So, if he’s always late to work, blowing off responsibilities, never has gas money to go out, or is forgetting to show up, get out before you’re forced to be the grown-up in that train wreck.

Is he constantly pressuring you about sex?

If you are not ready for things to go that route; he needs to respect that. If he doesn’t… well, CHECK, PLEASE! Move on and don’t look back. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Intimacy is a big deal, not something you should take lightly. It is SMART to WAIT. You are worth more than a hookup with a user. Don’t forget that.

Now ask yourself: What’s his intent?

VIABeverley Miles