“IF YOU BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE WITHOUT TRYING TO CHANGE IT, THEN WHAT YOU ARE UNDERGOES A TRANSFORMATION.”
― Jiddu Krishnamurti
We can all agree, $*it happens. When it does though, it can be hard to keep cool. The reason it can be so hard though is because we strive to look calm on the outside at all times. This helps up “fit in” and look more acceptable. But doing this can sometimes be just flat out stupid. To show you why, here’s a story. One day, I had to take the train, but the frakking train didn’t come.
I waited on the platform, feigning casualness as minutes passed, time just ticked on and sooner than later, I’d be missing my appointment.
I managed to talk myself into staying cool for the first twenty five minutes, until I was sure to be really late. At this stage there was no cool left in me, I was cooked, and I was mad, so I looked around to make sure nobody was watching and I started cursing in French between my teeth, louder and louder as anger rose. I looked at the sky, and almost raised a vengeful fist at God…why would He do this to me?! I was losing it completely.
I cursed the public transportation system, the governments, big oil…And finally I cursed myself for being a Buddhist failure who rages in public at 8:30 am.
My fit of anger lasted for a long while, but later subsided. This got me wondering, “What is the key of being sane in such a frustrating moment? No one is perfect yet we handle things just fine in the end.”
As my answer, or solution, if you will, I’ve decided that the habit of trying too hard to be perfect actually is harmful and not helpful, ironically. I’ve realized that I’m not perfect, so trying to be is futile at times.
I’ve gone through that cycles of rejection and acceptance a million times before. Anger, then surrender, then peace… each fit of rage proving the same point: you’re better off accepting yourself as you are than trying to kick your personality straight.
Self-acceptance is a key to sanity, yet, when presented with a choice between embracing our limitations or desperately trying to improve, we often choose the latter.
That’s too bad though because we could be happier right now, instead of waiting for the right time, when we’ve achieved enough progress to deserve it.
Our performance oriented education lets us believe that if we’re not outstanding, we’re missing the point of a meaningful life, but that diktat omits to mention how outstanding is outstanding enough.
I think it would make sense to say that NOW is enough. Even if now, you’re just angry for minute reasons in a train station.
Otherwise, how long will you have to wait to deserve a break? (You can decide for yourself).
If being who you are isn’t enough to make you happy now, what makes you think getting “better” will?
Once again, the nice part of this equation is: you can change it anytime.
To read more awesome articles like this by Gaël Blanchemain, visit gr0wing.com.
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