Note to self: STOP doing these 3 things!
You Think for Others
Did someone you know take the last blueberry muffin at the office? Did your friend not say “thank you” for the card you gave her yesterday? Did you not get invited to your neighbor’s party?
And I bet right now, you have already figured out the answers to those troubling questions, right? You may be thinking:
“Timmy, knew that muffin was my favorite, he took it just to upset me,” or “Sally has never appreciated the things I do for her.” Maybe, you’ve even thought, “Jerry never liked us in the first place, but we are not moving, no matter what he thinks!.”
Stop right there! When you just assume things, you rob yourself of your happiness. It makes life so much harder than it has to be. Try not to take it personally; it’s just your “hurt feelings” talking. We have no idea why events unfold the way they do, so why do we make it our job to guess? No wrongdoing has likely occurred. No personal offense may have been been aimed directly at you. Even if a slight or rudeness was on purpose, why allow this petty stuff to block your happiness? When you finally realize thinking for others only creates self-inflicted suffering; you’ll become a much happier person.
You can’t or won’t let go of negative events
Oh, you mean life can get better if I just change my thinking?
YES! It’s as simple as that. Stop reliving bad shit. Well, because it’s… shit! We know that life is not always easy, but we make it much harder by weighing ourselves down when we keep torturing ourselves.. Closure doesn’t come easy, and sometimes not at all, but we can manage our pain. We do have the power to give it less thought and less control over our lives. To truly be happy, one must actually make the conscious choice to choose happiness.. Joy is something we can have every single day, but we have to let it in. One mistake does not define you. You can overcome any hardships when YOU fight for yourself!
You’re an expectation junkie
You got someone something, and they didn’t shower you with flowers or thank yous letters and texts for the next year? Your honey forgot it was the anniversary of your first walk in the park… eight years ago. Your new hairstyle did not get the ooh’s and ahh’s you thought it would. STOP! When you attach other people’s reaction to your own expectations, you will always be disappointed. Not everyone is thinking what you are thinking! Life is not a movie with perfect happy endings. The best way to get what you want in life is for YOU to get up and want it. Buy things and do things because they only matter to you. Who cares if people like them or not? This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have standards and boundaries or to allow people to treat you with rudeness. It does mean that if you assume that other people will act a certain way or feel things as deeply as you do, you risk being let down. Take care of your own happiness first!