Am I truly becoming my best self or is this relationship squashing my growth? The phrase “Love is Blind” definitely applies when we don’t see obvious “warning signs”. If you take a step back to truly examine where you are right now and where you truly want to be – Do you see yourself reaching your full potential? If you are not growing, it might be time to part ways. Here are a few warning signs of a suffocating relationship.
They never want things to change
We all want our lives to improve. It might be getting out of that sketchy neighborhood you’re finances have forced you to live in, or trade in that beater car for a reliable one. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to move forward with your life. However, a saboteur doesn’t want things to change. They fear it. Every time you bring up the 1 to 5-year plan for the future, they somehow wiggle their way out of it. A mature person has no problem talking about the future because change is inevitable, it’s a part of life.
They don’t take responsibility for their actions
Saboteurs are never happy with their jobs, life, finances, etc. If they work, they never take it seriously by showing employers they are a sound investment for the future. Instead of admitting their own actions are holding them back, they blame it on others. Excuses like: “The Boss has never liked me, my co-workers are too hard to work with, they expect too much from me.” Blah, blah blah. Again, mature people take responsibility for their actions.
They flip-out when things go well for you
You finally got the promotion you’ve worked so hard for and you can’t wait to share the news with your partner― yet, there is no celebration with a saboteur. They are jealous of your accomplishments. If your “good news” usually turns into a boo-hoo party about them and why they never get lucky like you – it’s a sign they hope you fail. Don’t let a saboteur ruin your special moment. You deserve to be supported and praised when you’re in the spotlight. If they lack the ability to show admiration for your accomplishments – your partner is sabotaging your growth.
You both upset goals they never keep
You both set up a budget to save money, and they totally ignore it, burning through cash like it grows on trees. They’re really saying they have more right to money than you do. A lot of saboteurs use financial weakness to their advantage. They reason if they keep you in the poor-house, you will never have the financial security to make those life changing steps to become independent thus you will never leave them.
You feel like a parent, not a partner
The distinction between a partner and a parent is making important decisions. If you find yourself making and enforcing most decisions without much support, it’s time to realize you are not their guardian. It’s time they grow up and become a team player. When they act like you’re pressuring them into every situation because they have major insecurity issues― it shows they’re scared to death of change. It’s their way of holding you back. BIG RED FLAG! When you finally get sick of being the bad-guy in your relationship; it’s time to ask yourself: Do I live with a saboteur?
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