We all have bad days― no doubt, but for the most part, we want to portray ourselves as compassionate, generous, and kind. The bullet points listed below are shining examples of what we DO NOT want to show in our personalities, distorting the perceptions of others to view us as unattractive.
Here are a few questions to stop and ask: Am I this person?
Who do you know that must constantly talk about themselves? Do they shun others when they try to add something to the conversation? For others to be drawn to you, realize you are not the only person who matters, their input is just as valuable as yours.
Nobody likes a pessimist. If someone shares an experience with you and you put them down or throw out some snarky comment, why would they ever share with you again? People want to hang out with the “positive friend”, not Debbie Downer. It’s like your Mama always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Time to listen to your Mama.
Only Concerned About Outer Beauty
Real beauty comes from within. If someone is always worried about their outer appearance, it’s time they look into the mirror―and all mirrors are not made of glass. They must look into their soul, their spirituality because age comes for us all, bringing wrinkles and gray hair― and if it’s been someone’s life mission to focus only on physical beauty, they’re setting themselves up for a devastating fall.
Exaggerate The Truth
If you have to lie to make yourself appear better― DON’T. When you share your day, be honest. People that lie about the usual are looking for sympathy, or they are addicted to the drama it creates. You will find your friends dropping off the grid because you’ve become― exhausting.
Jealous of Others
Comparing yourself to others – who needs to be better than everyone else? If someone shares an experience, like “I’ve finally conquered my fear of the dark,” and Bad Friend says, “Really? I thrive in the dark.” Don’t downplay others accomplishment by turning the subject around to shed light on you. Not cool!
Ask yourself, “Am I impolite or offensive?” Not everyone will see the world the same as you, however, don’t be the one pointing that out in front of others, making a big scene. Those who lack self-control are usually not asked out again. (Embarrassing!)
When we’re with a group of friends, who is the one making all the decisions? Everyone should be on equal terms, so listen and consider the needs of others. Who likes that friend who must have the final say in everything? No one.
If a friend needs help, are you available, or are you too busy? Yet, when the tables are turned, you latch onto them for advice. A true friendship works best when it’s a two-ways street, a give and take exchange. If you are an unreliable friend, don’t expect others to be there for you.
Changing bad behavior takes effort, but with each challenge we overcome, we become stronger and with strength we become a person others will be attracted to, and with that comes lasting friendships.